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Oh Na Na What's My Name

Well it hasn't been too long since I last updated haha! The family and I had an awesome thanksgiving. My fam from New York came down, and its always so much fun when they come. Now Moms & Grams is hookin it up in the kitchen again for Thanksgiving number 2!!! Im hype lol...we always have two of everything in this family. We be goin ham! I have soo much to be thankful for this year, I've been through a lot and continue to learn lots of lessons. I've learned who my real friends are and so on and so forth. I am so thankful for those who have stuck my side since day one. Such a warm feeling has come over me lately and I love it. I'm really excited for this holiday season. God has brought a lot of opportunities my way lately and I hope to be taking advantage of one of them in the very near future. I'm excited that some of my loves are coming home and family is visiting and I get to see them! WOOOO lol sorry for that outburst...I really feel so good. I just wanna party it up right now. Think I might look for some all black parties to get into a little later we shall see. So I realized its tons of fun to be single. I just realized just about every guy I've dealt with is a complete asshole and I know its me. I'm way to good for them..I require alot. I must say it's hard loving a woman like me...Beyonce was right. I'm to good of a catch so I'm just gunna focus on what I need to be focusing on and the love of my AMAZING family and AMAZING friends to support me along the way! Well there isn't much else to really say...listening to some good music and relaxing with my fam until we get it INN later lol! Hope everyone has a safe and very blessed holiday!!

Back To Your Heart

How do you know when to give up on love? Or are you supposed to..he was the only one I ever felt that way with! I thought I had let go, but I been thinking about him alot lately. There is something in my heart, don't know quite what it is, but its always been there. And I'm sure he knows..how could he forget. I know we once felt the same. It's hard to explain because we last were on the craziest page together, and he's been gone for awhile now. But he's back home, and I can't stop thinking about him. If only I could find away back to your heart, to let you know how I feel. I don't think I ever really did, I was always so scared. He was the first to break my heart, but what if I want him to be the last?! Sometimes you should follow your head, but I can't help but follow my heart, and I can't help but wait...

A Harvest of Lessons Learned

It's been a little over a month since I last updated. I promise I will get better. So my birthday has come and gone I am now 23! Hooray I guess, not that much different than 22 except a year older haha! Anyways so still actively looking for a job, hoping that I find one very soon! I'm getting excited for the holidays, I find myself already with that Christmas cheer. I definitely love this time of year. And I most certainly cannot believe that this year is so close to being over. I have learned so much indeed though. I'm pretty much 90% back to tip top shape that I was in before my accident. I'm not even sure if my ligament is still torn, but since there is still pain I will assume so. I still need therapy though or this will be a chronic condition which is not a fun thing. So besides that I haven't been up to too much. I haven't even really written anything that much since last month, which I also need to get back to. Although I do have my bouts of writing, if I stay consistent with exercises writers block becomes less occur-able. I have been reading Henry David Thoreau's "Walden" and I must say I love this book. I loved studying him in high school and college and now reading his book I am reassured as to why. So I liked this guy, he's amazing this is true, but turns out he likes my best friend. Honestly though, I think I confused my feelings with him. He was like the opposite sex version of me and I fell in love with the idea of that, but after getting to know him, he's still great but maybe not the one for me! The one God sends for me I will surely know when he comes. It's fun being single though, of course anyone knows that. I need to get my life together though. Its hard to take on a whole different person when you still need to work on you. I feel so blessed with all the things I have been through this year. Its like I finally understand. No regrets, just a harvest of lessons learned. I feel really excited about what the future has to bring to me and I look forward to it with open arms. With that being said, there's nothing left to say! So like they say, I'll see ya when I see ya!

Fall Is Upon Us...

So for an update on my life. Well I haven't been up to soo much other than WRITING a whole lot! And reading a bit in between and catching up with my friends. At this point I can walk without my crutches but with a limp, which is more than I can say I thought it would be since I have been without therapy. Now I'm working on getting that figured out so that I can return to work. I miss it, well not my job..God no, but just working in general. Or maybe it's the money I miss ha, either way I can't wait to go back. Also I'm looking forward to going back to school. I miss it, I always have the urge to do some homework or write a paper or solve something...yes yes I know I am a dork at heart! What can I say though. Even though I didn't get to do much this summer or at least not the plans I had for myself, I have to say firstly I'm just thankful to be alive an in the company of good friends. Thanks to my best friends I've had what I like to call "handicapped adventures" which needless to say have been just as wild as my "regular" ones lol! But I am excited for fall and the beauty of the season that comes with it. It's great writing material. Which by the way, I'm trying to see if maybe I can start getting some of my work published again and maybe before the year is up if I play my cards right. In these few months though I have learned alot of lessons and alot about myself with all the extra free time I've had. And along the way I've met some new and pretty amazing people. One of which is very cute I may say *giggles*. I just feel so much more inspired about people and things than I was before and its a good feeling. So I'm going to take that and see if I can't get some more writing done, that or singing. Hope you all had a great summer. Toodles for now...

Writer's Block: Random acts of kindness

What is the nicest thing you've ever done for a stranger? What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

Honestly, looking back, I've done my share of nice things for people...but the nicest thing I've ever done? I'm honestly not quite sure. But I will say that one of the nicest things you can do for a person is to listen to them. Sometimes you should just not say a word and just listen. Whether a person be happy, sad or in an indifferent mood, sometimes they just need a listening soul to vent to. And that is one of my strengths. I will listen to just about anyone, whether I agree or disagree with them or the situation. You would be suprised at how much you can learn by just listening especially if you disagree or are ignorant to the voice. And I will say the nicest thing that a stranger ever did for me was to take the time to stop and see if I was ok when I was in a bad car accident a few months ago. This lady was on the opposite side of the barrier on the highway that I had slammed into. I was going northbound and she was going southbound and she jumped over the wall to come to my rescue. Not only did she help pull me from my car, but comforted me, gave me water and told me I was blessed and that everything was going to be ok. I have no idea who she is, don't even know her name, but for her to have done that to me is one of the kindest things you could do. What if I had been injured worse than I was or dead, she would have had to live with that image in her head whether it traumatized her or not. Its a very courageous thing to do. I myself, have never stopped at the scene of a car accident, but have helped people in minor distress. People like her make you see the light in the world that there are still some really good and amazing people out there, we have not all succumb to this evil worlds ways.

Friends or Enemies!

Good Evening to you all! Hope everyone is doing well. So who else besides me is watching Shark Week? I dunno why it doesn't scare most of us, it's actually very intriguing. But I have to wonder, are sharks really our friends or our enemies? I mean they seem to not bother us when they don't feel threatened, and most shark attacks result in a shark mistaking the way a human appears in the water to resemble its prey. My big thing though, almost all sharks are completely blind and rely on their senory glands and incredible noses to hunt down prey. So how do we look like prey to them? Hmm, some speculation there! I guess we could smell human, but why do they wanna eat us, I'm sure we don't taste that great without ketchup. Oh well. I have a strong compassionate love for the Ocean, but I think I have the smarts to know if its a dangerous area, I will not swim there. But you really cant keep me out of the water, and I myself, do not go out far enough to where I can't feel something under my feet! But strangely enough, one of my biggest dreams is to one day go scuba diving! Go figure. There's a lot of speculation in different areas of the country and surrounding countries as to why sharks attack in each specific area. Well, moving on! I hear that since the recent tragedy in Haiti, one of it's well known native's Wyclef Jean wants to run for president!!! I never saw that coming, but hey good luck I guess. I imagine it would be hard to be a superstar and president. But some people can handle all of that. I personally have enough work just being responsible for myself let alone an entire country, though it would be nice to wonder how the world would be if I were president. Ha! That'd be the day. I think tommorow I will start to brainstorm and compile ideas together for this book! Wow, I could write a book about everything. LOL! Well anyways, I'm off back to shark week and glorius, glorius ideas. TTFN!

Overloaded Brilliance

Hello and Happy Sunday to everyone! So in my much increased free time, I have been overloading my self with tons of ideas. All of you know that I love to write, and I have been writing alot since I have been home. But I also have been coming up with some ideas for writing a book. Sort of a how to do it my style book of poetry and writing. So when I have brainstormed this out some more I will get back to you with more details. There is so much I wanna do with this. Even thinking of what it would be like to switching to an English major and teaching! I dream big ha, but realize baby steps, baby steps. But when I get back into the cycle of things, I will definitely be more focused on my dreams and goals and what I wanna do, and try my best to make each and everyone of them happen! For those of you who also love to write I've recently joined an awesome website www.writersnetwork.com and been getting a lot of feedback from my readers. It's a great feeling and I encourage some of you to join, its free and unlimited writing possibilities as far as I know. You can check my personal page out at http://writers-network.com/members/feeshastar87 : Stop by and let me know what you think. Well I have to get back to my fans, as they say! Peace, Love & Poetry!

Sundresses and Sandals

So as most of you know, I was a in a bad car accident a few weeks ago and I am slowly but surely recooperating. In the mean time I have been catching up on shows and entertainment and the like. Also I have been writing alot to. I just feel so compelled lately to write and read and learn more. I'm looking to publish some of my work also, so if any of you know of good publishing companies, or the first steps I should take into the publishing world, please let me know. I post some of my work on here and also in the "poetssociety" community. Well lucky me, I'm about to head off to the doctor to get a report of what could possibly be wrong with my leg. I will have an update later. Toodles

Dreams of Death

Dreams of Death
by: Phylicia Appling

I felt a chill all over, my arms wrapped around the cold, plush pillow
As if it were my last escape. Tiny fishes it seemed would swim around inside my head,
each carrying a negative thought I dare not speak aloud. Then I saw myself lying in a casket.

How did I get here? Maybe a tragic accident, a flesh eating disease, heartbreak
I just couldn't rise above. Or was it something I'd said or done? Did I deserve this? I could feel my whole body tensing as I say to myself, "No no no", or "Stop it!" I try to imagine sugar and spice and all things pretty girls are made of, but it doesn't last.

I just want to be perfect, blameless, faultless, though an impossible feat, is all I wish to be. Did I bring this on myself? Maybe. But I did not want to. I wanted to live. I try to think of good things, my accomplishments, something to make me feel I don't deserve this, but do I?

I have tired myself with all of this. I drift off into nothingness as the hours pass. When I awake I realize I feel the same yet different. My casket is gone. But I feel hopeless, unattached. Then I remember my first loves, music, poetry, art. After a while I am fine. When will it all stop?

Back...Maybe, Kinda, Sorta...WHO KNOWS?!

Soo I'm back! I'm really to lazy to write anything, but not that much has been going on in my life lately anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. But I have come to that point again, the one we all come to you know, that old familiar, it occurs oh so frequently throughout ones life...where you feel like your past and your future come together and you are kinda stuck in the middle. More like your ready to finally do what you've always wanted to do and you really feel like this time you have the guts to do it. I wish I had soo much money to buy myself outta here and into my future but time and patience will have to do for now. So in other words I'm leaving some people and things and situations that hindered me before (this time I mean it) and going full force into my future. With GOD and my family and REAL friends by my side it will be an unforgettable journey and I'm ready for the ride! And that's all she wrote...